by Subhash K Jha

She has just sung one of Mohd Rafi's bluesiest most difficult ghazals Din dhal jaye from the film Guide for a new comedy Kudiyon Ka Hai Zamana in which she plays the lead.

Having heard her play the song for me I can vouch for this....Rekha has one of the best most nuanced and sensitive singing voices, far better than some of the so-called professional singers today.

"Oh I think a lot of actresses sing very well. Tabu sings beautifully. And have you heard Madhuri Dixit sing? She has an amazing voice."

Tell her she reminds you of Geeta Dutt, and she exclaims, "Funny, you say that! My sister says I could well be Geeta Dutt's sibling. No, I've never trained to be singer."

"You're just being kind," she brushes aside the compliment. "My Gawd, I've such a terrible singing voice. I'm not a singer. I don't sing the words. I feel them. And Shailendra Saab's words in Din dhal jaye are so filled with layered feelings it's easy for any sensitive person to drown in them.

My rule for singing is the same as living...I FEEL life. Feelings last forever. Jazbaat is duniya mein kahin-na-kahin ghoomte rehte hai."

Why this particular Ghazal composed by Sachin Dev Burman for Guide? "I didn't really choose the sing. I was just humming it on the sets one day when the director Mr Amar Bhutala overheard me. He said, 'M'aam, you please sing this song for our film.' I protested that there was no situation for it.

But he insisted that a situation will be created. It comes on when my screen-husband and I patch up. Din dhal jaye is supposed to be the song I used to sing for him in college. I tease him with this song. I asked my director not to retain the original orchestration, just incidental natural sounds connected with the night.

That's tough to do, because all the weaknesses in my voice show up much more clearly without the orchestra to do it. I recorded it on the computer and sent it over. Now when I hear it I just want to drown myself."

She surprises me by revealing, "Believe me, I just sat on the computer and gave a scratch recording to my director. I was sure of one thing. I didn't want to sing it like Rafi Saab. No one can sing it like him...except Lata Didi who has sung it so beautifully (in the album Shraddhanjali).

It was surreal ...like most things I've done in my life. It wasn't as if I voluntarily sat down to do this. It just happened. In fact one should never delude oneself into believing anything happens by one's own will. There's a force guiding and lifting you to wherever life takes you. You're powerless on your own."

When you wonder how she negotiated such intricate notes Rekha laughs, "That's what Simiji had said when I sang on her Rendezvous. She couldn't believe I could scale those high notes of Lataji in the song Yeh kahan aa gaye aa hum (Silsila). Simiji said she couldn't sing it. But well...I didn't think whether I could or couldn't. I just did it."

Is she satisfied with her singing? "The day I'm satisfied with what I do. I will die. I'll never be content either. But I'm grateful. I think I'm grateful for every slap, every painful failure....I've put them all behind me. There should be no question marks only exclamation marks in life. I'm as strong or weak as the next person. But I haven't mastered the art of control over every situation. I'm trying to get there."

Rekha has two releases coming up before this year is through. "Goutam Ghose's Yatra and the comedy Kudiyon Ka Zamana. Both very different from one another. I like to take up roles as challenge, like I did the old woman's role in Krissh. I haven't seen the film. I've been travelling. But I'm happy to know it's a huge success."