/> Starring Bobby Deol, Upen Patel, Kangana Ranaut, Celina Jaitley
Directed by Suneel Darshan
Rating: *

Strange things happen in this tale of two ditties, sung by two utterly unlikable musicians who are as megalomaniacal as they are unworthy of our attention.

When Kangana playing a ping-pong to the locked horns, decides to succumb to the senior musician's sexual advances, she decides to strip right there in the hallway with the valet looking down at his feet.

We second the valet's emotion.

You watch this laugh triangle with a deep sense of embarrassment and regret. This could have been the comprehensive film about the sense of noisy competitiveness that destroys the very core of creativity.

Bobby is the senior musician who gets jealous of the insufferable new kid on the block who is so smug he re-defines the whole cult of cockiness....

The whole tussle of ego between the junior and senior musician (replete with reams and reams of musical notes that dance up and down on the musical scale like a heart monitor gone awry.) echoes the rivalry between Salieri and Amadeus with bits and pieces of life's less spoken drama turned into a cacophobic celebration of envy and pride decorated in colours so garish they could make you blind, if you haven't gone deaf with all the noise that Himesh Reshammiya, Viju Shah (background score) and, surprise surprise, Anurag Kashyap hurl at us in split-second resonances echoing the banshee of a bleeding heart that can't tell the difference between agony and ecstacy.

Surprisingly for a film so steeped in high-drama there's little graph or motivation to the characters. The crucial jealousy and rivalry between the senior and junior musician is dealt with in a few lengthy sequences which are written in the style of random episodes from long-running soap operas.

The morality –play gets confusing not only for the lack of an even pitch, but also because the two heroes seem to be interchangeable in their obnoxious self-regard.

Bobby conveys some pop-angst in some of the scenes. But most of the time he's grappling for a graph.

Upen Patel has a strongly-written role, a strong jaw line, but alas little to match his embarrassingly high confidence level. He messes up his resonant role with a double dose of self-confidence that makes him look like a cross between a dancing gigolo and a screaming drunkard.

Kangana Ranaut so watchable in her earlier films, looks shockingly lost and washed-out here. Wrong make-up, wrong motivations, wrong film, lady!

Celina Jaitley, playing a journalist who sleeps with anyone she writes about (wow, the pen is mightier than the penis) acts mostly with her cleavage, the rest of her being as brain dead as Bobby at the end of the long film when a big ball breaks on Bobby's bobbing head and everything goes.....boom! Voila, that's when the film's cryptically snazzy title is finally explained.

The marginal characters which includes Bobby's two side-kicks Asrani and Vivek Vaswani, his music- baron boss Dalip Tahil and his over-sexed wife (Seema Rahmani) who comes on to Bobby so strongly, you've to be a cretin to miss her intentions.

Suneel Darshan probably means well. Though considering the ritzy mess he has created, we can't tell.