/> What a long journey it has been for Saif Ali Khan. From the over-pampered hedonistic scion of a Nawabi Khandaan to one of Bollywood's most serious contenders for the no.1 spot, Saif has truly emerged triumphant at the turnstiles.

One still remembers with a shudder the comments that accompanied Saif's debut in Umesh Mehra's Aaashiq Aawara in 1993 and the melee of monstrosities that followed thereafter.

Acidic comments about his looks and appearance were the order of the Friday. One still remembers the classic of cattiness from a well-known columnist who said, "Put a dupatta on Saif's head and he looks like Sharmila Tagore."

Such comments hurt all right. But they hit home, bang-on. As Saif recently told me recently, "My detractors and their harsh comments have been my greatest incentive to prove myself."

And then, in typical Saif fashion, he leaned back for some serious self-praise. "Actually that's a good quote, don't you think?"

Saif almost always ends every observation tentatively. No wonder it took him so long to realize his worth.

"But do I really know my worth today?" he wonders with his brows characteristically knitted in a question mark.

I firmly believe Saif should be in a desi Hamlet instead of Othello. The to-be-or-not-to-be debate was invented for Saif...Or so it seems. Saif never says an outright yes or no. Maybe is his clearest option and safest zone.

No wonder he remained in the zone of the probables for so many years. Looking gawky ill-at-ease and out of sorts in a series of post-debut films, Saif all but finished off his career.

He was and he remains to a large extent, the Khan from the outside. Aamir and Salman belong to film families. And despite being a Delhi dude Shah Rukh is more of an insider in the industry today than any other actor.

Yes, Saif ke paas maa hai. But moms, as experience tells us, don't count in Bollywood. If they did, Nutan's boy Mohnish Behl would've been the hugest superstar on the block.

"Mom (Sharmila Tagore) had actually agreed to play my mother in Aashiq Awaara. That was sweet of her," Saif reminisces about the "good" old days when columnists took potshots at him for everything, from his girlie looks to alleged sexuality.

There're stories about how insecure he would get on the sets of Karan Johar's Kal Ho Na Ho. Saif denies them. "You know I get paranoid about every movie. I knew the kind of role I had. I knew from the start that Shah Rukh would be the pivot of the film.

But I knew I had great lines and a great role. I was never made to feel Shah Rukh was more important to the project. I went with very clear expectations. It was a civilized unit. Everyone was young and fun. I don't feel like an outsider at all. I never did, though I was from outside Mumbai.

I was always warned about camps and groups. But I always felt there was some strength to be gained from standing alone, and not being part of any camp. But at the same time if you look at it I'm quite a Yashraj boy, in many ways. I started my career with Yashji in Parampara. He saw my first screen- test.

My first hit Yeh Dillagi was also connected with Yashraj films. The way they work suits me. Once we go down to Goa for a script reading all we've to is work hard on the movie. I'm not expected to socialize with them. So the whole 'camp' thing is quite a myth for me. Really, Karan Johar and Yashraj Films have spoilt me. "

Saif is certainly not going anywhere for a long time. He seems to enjoy his newly-found status as a leading man to the hilt. So far he has been playing variations of his own personality with a cool candour that suburban audiences have identified with. Now it's time to move on.

Omkara is definitely a new beginning for the dude with his dynamics forever driven delightfully into distended directions. When Vishal Bahradwaj had zeroed in on Saif to play the desi Iago, Saif was, as usual, unsure.

He never says an outright yes to any role, not even to Farhan Akhtar's Dil Chahta Hai in 2002. That film clearly was the turning point in his career.

Farhan was sure he wanted only Saif to play the confused naïve and confounded Sameer. As usual Saif wasn't convinced.

Four years later, Saif remains the same indecisive entity. Vishal Bharadwaj who has just given Saif his single-most important makeover role before and after Dil Chahta Hai chuckles at the memory of Saif's indecisiveness. " Everyone I approached for Omkara said yes immediately.

The only actor who needed some convincing was Saif. He was reluctant about cutting his hair. I'd have never been able to make the film with his long hair. If I couldn't convince him to do something so minor like cutting his hair, how could I convince him to get into character?

I remember on the night before shooting Saif sent me a message saying he has a razor in his hand wondering whether he should cut his hair. It was Eid, and I told him to take Allah's name and make the sacrifice. Unki Qurbani qubul ho gayi. My film will take Saif to a different level."

Laughs Saif, "I was in Jaipur recently. And I began to think about how Vishal came down here to narrate Omkara to me. One morning I was sitting on a beautiful lawn in Jaipur's Rambagh Palace with no work to do.

Young Vishal Bharadwaj was sitting in front of me. It was a beautiful day. But at that point of time I was wondering why I was being offered a negative role. Vishal really pushed me.

He told me he was worried because it was an important part in Omkara. From getting me to cut my hair to delivering my lines properly...he was quite paranoid. Initially I read my character's lines with a bit of an English accent. Looking back I could've taken it even further. But it was correct timing. Everything fell into place."

At the moment he's more relaxed than ever before. "On the sets of Omkara people would say there were four National award winners. My first impulse would be to wonder who was the fourth after Vishal, Ajay Devgan and Konkona Sen.

Then I'd realize, 'Oh shit, the fourth National award winner is actually me!'...My two releases Being Cyrus and now Omkara are as different in milieu accent and characterization as humanly possible. And you know what? I enjoy crossing over from one reality to another."

Saif has the final word. "I may seem like a bundle of contradictions most of the time. But there's a method to my madness which is apparent only to me a lot of times."