/> Chitranganda on why she disappeared after Hazaaron Khawishein Aisi...

Why did you disappear?
It all started with a certain disagreement with some prominent people from within the industry. Things got sour when I started getting bad press about my husband (golfer Jyoti Randhawa) spoiling things for my career.

The attack became too personal. Not being from the film industry my husband's family couldn't understand what was being said, and why. It made me angry. I felt betrayed.

I didn't want to give any importance to the malicious people by trying to explain myself or how things were between me and my husband. Maybe I took things too seriously. I decided to just quit.

You quit because you didn't like what was being said about your marriage and husband?
That's right. It took me about 2 ½ years to realize I was giving too much importance to my opponents by staying away from what I enjoyed doing.

Wasn't it selfish to leave so many expectations, including those of Sudhir Mishra, in the lurch?
Aren't we all selfish? Being talented is a curse. There was no way I could stay at home not doing what I was meant to. There was this creative fire that burnt within me.

I was trying to do the right thing by myself and family. I wanted to protect my family from those within the industry who were attacking them. I should've spoken up.

I kept quiet because I didn't want to get into a boxing bout. In the two-year sabbatical I traveled, read books and became a richer person.

I saw many countries in the past two years. I had a lot of time to think about what I wanted to do with my life.

Were you prompted to re-discover your celebrity because your husband is one?
My decision to come back was about doing what made me happy. Yes,my husband and I took a mutual decision for my return.

Has your husband been supportive of your decision to comeback to acting?
He has always been supportive of all my decisions. He's supportive of all my moves including the two films I did before I quit.

I didn't plan anything when I did those films. I didn't plan anything when I quit suddenly. Luckily my in-laws are on my side.

And I'll always be conscious of my responsibilities towards them. I'm not insecure about my husband or in-laws.

Would it be right to say you quit in hurt and anger?
Yes. But that's done with. I've now been welcomed with opens arms. I want to thank whoever has smiled at the thought of my return. And I'm so thankful for the film offers.

Did you feel a little rusty around the edges when you faced the camera again?
No! It was amazing. When I did my first shot with Boman Irani and Sharman Joshi for Onir's Sorry Bhai my hands were cold. But believe you me, the minute Onir said 'Action' I was totally relaxed.

It was amazing! I just loved the whole exercize of assuming a character and borrowing emotions. I'm very happy

.It's funny, but at the time when Onir offered me this film I was already thinking of a comeback.I had visited Mumbai earlier for prospective assignments. Onir flew down to Delhi to narrate the story.

It all happened very fast. Now I'd love to be Chandramukhi in Sudhir Mishra's Devdas.

You won't be playing the typical Chandramukhi?
I can't! I don't want to be compared with Vyjanthimala and Madhuri Dixit as Chandramukhi.

I'll use my very different personality to create another Chandramukhi. My challenge lies in bringing my own elegance to the character.

My Chandramukhi won't be a nautch girl. She'll be a political socialite,a sensuous wheelerdealer. She has to have her own charm and aura

Do you want to be associated only with avant-garde cinema?
I'd like to go wherever my talent and my potential take me. There's no conscious decision to do any one particular kind of film. I don't know how to get into the big banners. But I'd love to be in them.

They aren't coming to me yet. They're waiting and watching, as they usually do.I'm doing films for my self-actualization.

Did you get bored being the good wife?
No, not bored. I was content being the daughter and wife. But I did want to do what I was destined to. Acting. Like I say, being talented is a curse.

Would you rather be mediocre?
I guess not. One doesn't have a choice.

Have you acquired your husband's sportsmanship?
Oh yes! He's in a competition every single week. He has to prove his worth constantly. Just seeing him I've learnt so much. He can pick up any sport in no time. Some people are just gifted with some skill.

How's it being the wife of a celebrity?
I seem him as an achiever. Jyoti was almost my childhood friend. He was a family friend. So I never saw him as a celebrity. I'm proud of his achievements. And that's what I missed myself.

Do you see yourself running around trees?
I don't think they do that any more. There're no tree left. But yes, I'd bring my own personality into whatever movies I do. Do you think Katrina Kaif didn't do anything in Namaste London?

Do you see the practical problems in conducting a career from Mumbai when your husband's home is in Delhi?
It won't be a problem because he spends almost 9 months per year traveling. He plays about 30 tournaments. I'm sure we can manage to co-ordinate our schedules so that we spend time together when he isn't playing. I'll have to do that.

Do you see the film industry change since you left?
I think there's far more free flow of ideas and creativity. So many exciting filmmakers! I think Sriram Raghavan is amazing. I'd have loved to do his Johnny Gaddar. What a lovely time to be in Hindi movies!

What wouldn't you be uncomfortable doing?
Kissing scenes. And that's nothing to do with being married. As for the leather skirts, it wouldn't depend on their length. I'm a casual jeans-and-shirt Delhi girl in real life. Not too much jewellery and makeup. I'm most comfortable looking normal.

Do you think it's difficult for married actresses to return?
Isn't that changing?I feel marriage makes you more enriched with experiences and emotions, and therefore a better actress. I just want to grab all my opportunities with both my hands.