/> Starring: Abhishek Bachchan, John Abraham, Priyanka Chopra, Kirron Kher, Boman Irani
Written & Directed by Tarun Mansukhani
Rating: ***

Get this straight. Abhishek Bachchan and John Abraham are not gay. They are just happy pretending to be bed partners. In the endeavour they pull put all stops and get into the gay zone with a gusto that stumps all the moralists.

There are butt-and-bum jokes galore some even pointed at the leading lady. But hold that frown.

Auntyji, chill. It's all for fun. Wanna join in?

The theme of heterosexual characters pretending to be gay to get a precious abode in the bustle of the metropolis is pretty cool.

Bachchan and Abraham, both in full form, get into the gay groove without going over the top. They come out with flying colours through most of the material that's provided to them to sink their teeth into.

While John combines terrific body language with some great comic timing (he's come a long way from his thanda GaramMasala days) Abhishek's expressions are a scream in their pitch-perfection.

One of the most brilliantly-written sequences orchestrates all the characters of this gay-play in the same room.

There're the play-acting gay protagonists, a gay magazine editor (a flawlessly wimpy Boman Irani), a gay marriage-bureau official (who just decides to drop in for a quick –check) and of course Abhishek's homophobic mother (Kirron Kher) who screams and rants and then accepts her son's apparent sexual preference.

You could simply marvel at the two principal actors giving so much of heart and others parts to their parts.

After a point you're tempted to stop counting the number of times the word 'gay' gets in the way of the narrative. From 'Mera beta gay hai' (courtesy Abhishek's mom Kirron Kher) to a 'Han main gay hoon' .... Dostana wins the how-to-say-gay-in-every-which-way award of the year.

Sandwiched between the two brilliantly-poised heroes is Priyanka Chopra, glowing like a 1000-watt bulb in her immaculate wardrobe (and out of it...she too gets into beachwear, what did you think?).

So here's the bottom (oops!) line. Hindi cinema finally comes out of the closet. And going by how little John Abraham wears in most of the film. There's very little coming out of the closet.

But there you have it. Bollywood's first beach-bum-chum meri-dosti-mera-pyar dildo-dil-lo preparation done on that slow-burn state of leisurely cooking where the characters get an ample chance to extend the parameters of the conventional cinema without toppling into the abyss of overstatement.

First-time writer-director Tarun Mansukhani has the zing thing in his vision. Miami shot with fetching gusto by Aynanka Bose lifts the luscious locales to more than a touristic paradise. The desi characters seem to belong to this beachside paradise.

Well-toned bodies tanned to the extreme of selfglorification, sinewy movements on the beach and on the dancefloor, songs music and feverish fiesta of sexually- driven people who want it all.And fast. Dostana is the ultimate hedonists' dream.

The narrative pace slackens considerably in the second-half, what with the heroes expanding their homosexual hijinks into a triangle with Priyanka thrown in for good measure.

Then the triangle dilates into a quadrangle as Bobby Deol (looking dapper in his Armanis) makes a belated appearance as the boss who first intimidates and irritates the working girl into motion of anger and submission. And then sweeps her off her feet.

Is this to keep the heterosexuals happy ?

What keeps the narrative going is the sheer zest for life and the mood of wink-wink wackiness which Shilpa Shetty sets at the outset with her ooh-la-la item song.

The gags involve everyone from the caricatural and spinsterish landlady (Sushmita Mukherjee) to an incredibly clueless magazine editor (Bobby Deol) who agrees to behave like a moron on the our pseudo-gay heroes' say-so.

It's all in fun. Not to be taken seriously. Not even when Abhishek and John lip-lock in mock-ecstacy for a climatic farewell kiss that certainly leaves Priyanka breathless.

I'm still trying to figure out why Abhishek is inspired to act gay with John while holding a hotdog in his hand. Is there a hidden code there?

As for the audience, it's still counting the number of times the characters say 'gay'. Every which way.