A portrait of restraint Shiney Ahuja's wife Anupam (Anu) is coping with the monstrous crisis in her marital life with exemplary resilience. Refusing to even consider her husband's guilt Anu stands by her man and in fact applauds him for his strength of will during these trying times. Anupam Ahuja speaks exclusively to Subhash K Jha

Your husband's bail application has been rejected.
(sighs) Yes, it has been rejected. Shiney and I have both surrendered to the will of God. We both know the final verdict will come from up there from God. We also have faith that we'll come out of this stronger and closer to each other than we were ever before.

Some people within the film industry seem to believe you've abandoned Shiney...that you don't go to meet him in jail...
That's rubbish. Complete rubbish. How can I abandon my soul -mate? I've been with him for so many years. It happened just once. You know, he wasn't well and wasn't expected to go to court. That's why I wasn't with him that one time.

The next thing I read I had abandoned him. So ridiculous. How can I abandon him? He's not only my husband but also my baby's father.We've known each other four fifteen years. Baat bilkul ghalat hai. Bakwas hai yeh sab.

Are you shocked by the scarcity of support from within the film industry?
No I get a lot of sms from the Shiney's colleagues. Maybe they aren't coming forward to speak visibily.

What's the point of invisible support?
Mera sabse bada supporter Bhagwan hai. Not a leaf moves without His permission. It was in our destiny to go through this ordeal....From the industry Anurag Basu, Sudhir Mishra, producers Tito-Tony, Jahnu Baruah (the director of Shiney's Harr Pal), Kunal Shivdasani, Pritish Nandy, Ketan Mehta and Soha Ali Khan have been supportive.

I don't know that many film people. I never went out to befriend them.Shiney and I had made a conscious decision that I stay away from the limelight so that our child would grow up in a very normal encironment. I wanted him to go out like any jobholder and home to us in the evening. I didn't want his fame to come home with him.

You've coped well with much dignity?
My strength comes from God and my love for my husband.

How is your little baby coping?
I haven't seen her since 14 June. Our baby is in Delhi with her Nana-Nani. I don't want her to get any of the negative vibrations around me.Woh alag rahe to achcha hai.

Now that the fresh bail plea has been rejected what is your next plan of action?
Our lawyer will go again. We'll go through the legal process and trust the judiciary completely. I will continue to walk with as much dignity as possible.

Doesn't it all seem unreal to you?
It's bizarre....illogical. It (the crime for which Shiney is accused) is suicidal. Nobody would do such a thing. You're right in your observation. But I can't say anything right now. Everything is subjudice. Main kuch bhi bolun to pataa hain kya hoga. I don't want to hurt his case in any way. But this is not the Shiney I spent fifteen years with. This is someone else they're talking about.

Do you still love him?
I love my husband. I love him more than ever. I derive strength from him. When I met him (in prison) he was emotional but he made me strong for both of us. Hamare andar Sai Baba has come to us. Sai Baba is holding us together. Shiney and I talk to each other by talking to God.

How frequently are you able to meet him?
Once a week.

How is he coping?
At first he was unable to comprehend what was happening to him, and that's quite understandable. But with Sai Baba's strength he has come to terms with his predicament.. He's coping better.

Can u give him ghar ka khana?
No. It isn't allowed.

Where are you staying in Mumbai, now that your house has been sealed?
No our home is not sealed anymore. I don't stay there permanently. But I go there. I'm dividing my time between our home and temples. I also stay at Ashok Bhaiyya (director Ashok Pundit)'s home.

Do you miss more upfront support from the film industry?
Jisse aana hai who khud aayenge. Jo aaye dil se aaye aur dil se duawayen de hamare liye..I can't go around asking for support.

Shiney is very lucky to have a wife like you?
I'm lucky to have a husband like him. Seeing how he's coping with the crisis in our life I'm prouder of him than ever before.

Do you hope to have a normal life again?
Oh we will. We will. We've walked together for fifteen years and will continue to do so. We've just encountered some bump in the roads.