Music Producer: T Series
Music by Sajid-Wajid, Anu Malik
Lyrics by Jalees Sherwani
Singers: Sonu Nigam, Udit Narayan, Sunidhi Chauhan

The audience may be jumping with excitement to see who gets Priyanka Chopra in this laugh triangle. But neither of her two suitors - Akshay Kumar or Salman Khan - have nice songs to sing in "Mujhse Shaadi Karogi".

The eight tracks are noisy, boisterous and riotous, sort of like what Anu Malik did for David Dhawan in "Biwi No.1", or Himesh Reshammiya did for Dhawan in "Dulhan Hum Le Jayenge". All very typical of Salman starrers.

The cheap chic that masquerades as music is part of the great laugh-a-minute scheme that Dhawan has officiated over the years. For him songs and music aren't a creative endeavour, just a serviceable satirical prop...give or take a little pop.

Salman seems to have a soft corner for composers Sajid-Wajid. He used one of their tracks ("Lagan lagi") in "Tere Naam" along with his other favourite Himesh Reshammiya's tracks.

In "Mujhse Shaadi Karogi", the blend of bhangra, pop and other eclectic beats would have been cacophonic if it weren't boring. Sorry, but the music of most Dhawan films sounds interchangeable. Jingle jingle, boom boom, shaka laka!

In the title song, Sonu Nigam and Udit Narayan put forward the marriage proposal, and Sunidhi Chauhan says yes. God knows, all three singers have seen better days.

But don't blame the singers when the song isn't strong enough to hold the vocals in place. Sonu in "Jeene ke hain chaar din" and "Aaja soniye" is very different from the one who sang with such searing sweetness in "Kal Ho Na Ho" and "Dev".

But what's wrong with Sunidhi? Easily the best of the new generation crooners, she's been sounding definitely under the weather lately. Maybe she should take a break?

The same goes for Sajid-Wajid whose tunes go from mediocre ("Kar doon kamala") to plainly dull ("Rab kare"). In between, Anu Malik makes a guest appearance with one track. His "Jeene ke hain chaar din" makes you wonder why we must waste any time listening to this bilge.

Next time you wonder why the music industry is in such a sorry slump, just listen to what they dump into our ears. Definitely one of the worst soundtracks in recent times, rivalled only by Anu Malik's "Aan" last month.