Over the years, many Bollywood insiders have learnt that life in the industry is as private as they want it to be.

Decades ago when Nutan took her mother Shobhana Samarth to court over the alleged mismanagement of her funds and property, Nutan's sibling Tanuja stood by the mother in the time of crisis. It took Nutan almost a lifetime to make up with her mother and sister.

The cold war gave the press ample fodder to keep writing about the best-known family feud in filmdom, almost comparable with Hema Malini's blow-hot-blow-cold relationship with her famous Amma.

During those turbulent times in the 1970s when Dharmendra was wooing Hema at innumerable outdoor locations, Amma would plonk herself in the middle of the desperately in-love couple. Fortunately, push never came to shove between this mother-daughter pair. Amma withdrew just in time. This relationship survived.

As did Rekha's relationship with her father Gemini Ganesan whom he blamed for the split with her mom. Rekha says she has made peace with her father, though only in her imagination. "I talk to him. But only in my imagination."

If only some of the other troubled celebrity relationships survived the media glare. Apparently Sharmila Tagore hasn't taken too kindly to Saif Ali Khan's split with his wife of many years. Now whenever Sharmila is in Mumbai, she chooses to stay with daughter-in-law Amrita Singh and the kids, sources say.

In Kolkata, the most well-known filmy feud is the one between Biswajeet and his son Prosenjeet. Ever since the hero of the 1960s split with his wife, the father-son pair has been in the throes of irreparable despair.

It's the way the media is drawn into the domestic circle that is curious. On the one hand, celebrities complain about the invasion of their privacy. On the other, they have no qualms about washing dirty linen in public.

Now when Amisha Patel has made a public issue of her very personal problems, her sibling Ashmit has come out openly in support of the parents whom Amisha has damned so categorically.

Some see Amisha's selective outspokenness as self-serving. She has spoken out against her supposedly unscrupulous parents. But she won't speak about what role her companion and favourite director Vikram Bhatt has played in bringing her out of her parents' domain.

Public broadcasts of domestic crises are now quite common in showbiz.

After his brother Nasir Khan's death, Dilip Kumar's sister-in-law Begum Para had openly stood up against what she considered her powerful brother-in-law's arrogance.

Then there are those who have been discreet.

In the 1980s, Sareeka made a 'clean' break from her mom. Though the old lady cried in print over her daughter's departure, Sareeka has maintained a dignified silence on the domestic issue to this day.

Sridevi too went to court about property disputes with her sister. Media speculation apart, there wasn't a murmur from the squabbling sisters.

There are much simpler ways to resolve domestic crises than to get between printed sheets and on camera. And that's what Shahid Kapoor seems to say through his studied silence about the estrangement from his mother Neelima Azim.

While her third marriage has driven Shahid out of her life, it has also brought him very close to his father Pankaj Kapoor. The shocking invasion of his privacy has taught Shahid Kapoor lessons in discreet conduct.

Whether it's being hounded by hidden cameras or by even more hidden agendas, the paparazzi will get you anyway. So why open the doors of your home to the press?

And if you do, please don't bicker about invasion of privacy. Your life is as private as you want it to be.