This has got to be the most phoney soundtrack of the season... and I say phoney with reason to feel this is occasion for treason.

Anu Malik seems to have delivered the songs over the phone to producer Sajid Nadiadwala who likes an arabesque aura in the songs that his favourite hero Akshay kumar croons on screen.

To no one's surprise (certainly not the surprise of your favourite neighbourhood deejay) Tu hai tu hai sounds like something straight out of producer Nadiadwala's Hera Pheri. But hold on to that trot. Because the chintzy soundtrack goes downhill all the way.

Anu Malik The Singer takes over the album, precipitating calamitous consequences in the karma of concordance. Let's face it... we don't really want to hear Anu Malik singing, even if he thinks he's a great singer. Delusions of grand lure?

The Malik-motivated vocals like Maar sutiya and Chakle chakle make you wince in embarrassment. Please! Can music director take a hint? Bappi Lahiri made the mistake of mauling his melodies.

Malik will have to learn the hard way. The nauseating limit is the Sutradhar track in two parts where Anu unravels the entire plot of the film, but bit by bit...like a molar performed over leisurely sessions by a dentist who has had onions for lunch.

This mealy-mouthed album shows how far Anu has slipped in the game of chart-frenzy.

Buck up, Anu. There're far more talented composers catching up. Who? Right now can't think of anyone!!! Except maybe M.M. Kreem and Sanjay Leela Bhansali's discovery Monty who's doing the outstanding director's next Saanwariya.