| At a party attended by many celebrities, a gray-haired veteran walked up to the stage with a cane and took his seat. The host asked, "Do you still go to the doctor often?" The veteran replied, "Yes, often." Host asked, "Why?" Veteran said, "Because patients must go to the doctor often! Only then can the doctor survive!" The audience burst into warm applause, and people cheered for the veteran's optimism and witty language. The host then asked, "Do you often ask the pharmacist in the hospital about how to take the medicine?" Veteran said, "Yes, I often ask the pharmacist about how to take the medicine! Because the pharmacist also has to make money to survive!" Another round of applause from the audience followed. Host asked, "Do you take medicine often?" Veteran said, "No! I often throw away the medicine. Because I also want to survive!!" The audience laughed even more. The host finally said, "Thank you for accepting my interview!" The veteran replied, "You're welcome! I know, you have to survive too!!" The audience burst into laughter, applause, and cheers, which lasted for a long time!! Host asked another question, "Do you still chat in the group often?" The veteran replied, "Yes, I also want to survive in the group! If I don't show up and don't chat, everyone will think I'm dead, and the group admin will delete me!!" It is said that this joke was ranked first in the world because "Everyone Has to Live!!" Smile, dear friends, and show up often. Post you messages and responses to the messages of your near and dear ones! Communicate and stay connected! Let people know that you are still alive, happy, and healthy (both mentally and physically). |
| While the family was having their dinner, the little girl wasn't eating. After a few moments, she said, "I have something to tell you people." Silence around the table. "I'm no longer a virgin," and she begins to cry. A long silence again. And then, the father angrily screamed at his wife, "It's your fault! Always dress and make up like a prostitute! Do you think you are setting a good example for your daughter? The wife, in turn shouted at her husband, "What about you? Are you setting a good example? Wasting your salary on runs girls who sometimes even accompany you to your doorstep! Are you setting a good example for your daughter?" The father continued, "And her elder sister, that good for nothing, With her rasta man of a boyfriend, Who is always found with her in all the hotels. Do you believe she is setting a good example for her younger sister?" And the rant went on. The grandmother touches the shoulder of her little grand daughter to console her And asks her, "Well, my little girl, how did it happen?" And the little girl replies while still crying, "It's the priest!" The grandmother asked, "What do you mean, by 'It is the priest'?" The little girl said, "The priest has chosen another girl to be Virgin Mary in the Christmas play. I'm no longer playing the role of Virgin Mary again." Always listen to the end before you react... |
| So, my wife managed to crash the car again today. When the police showed up, she was all fired up, insisting that the guy she hit was being totally reckless. "He was on his phone! Can you believe it?!" she exclaimed. "And, to make matters worse, he was sitting there, casually sipping on a can of beer!" The officer, trying his best to hold back a smile, took a deep breath, looked her dead in the eye, and said, "Ma'am... he can do whatever he wants... in his own living room." |
| Two multimillionaire friends met up for lunch and started chatting. "So how's your home life?" asks the first multimillionaire. "Couldn't be better," replies the second multimillionaire. "I bought an elephant!" "An elephant? Are you crazy?" "It's the best purchase I ever made! He grazes the lawn and makes it nice and even. The kids love to ride him and slide down his trunk, so now they are playing outside and being kids instead of just watching TV all day. My wife loves him too. He's very strong and helps her move things when I'm not around. Honestly, I can't think of a better pet." The first multimillionaire thinks for a moment. "That's actually kind of amazing. How much did you pay for him?" "Five hundred thousand dollars. What a bargain, huh?" "Can I buy him for one million dollars?" "What?! I can't sell him. He's part of my family now!" "Okay. Two million?" "You can't put a price on something so useful!" "Three million?" "Fine. I'll sell him for three million dollars, but only because you're my friend." A few months later, the multimillionaires meet again. The first multimillionaire is raging. "The elephant may have been useful to you, but he's a burden to me. He may have grazed your lawn, but he ate all my trees and left dung all over my lawn. The kids are terrified of that huge, noisy, aggressive thing. My wife and I haven't had a good night's sleep in months because the elephant keeps us awake. It's the worst purchase I ever made!" "I don't know what to say," says the second multimillionaire. "But with that attitude, you'll never be able to sell him!" |