| Sam called his wife and said to her in a weak voice, "Hey baby, I was driving to a coffee shop to meet Mary when all of a sudden, a stray dog came in the way. I tried to steer left to avoid running it down, but the car skidded due to high speed, rolled over and almost ran off the cliff. The car was hanging nose down over the cliff, as I looked down fearing impending death. "I just managed to climb out of the car and save my life, just before the car fell over the cliff crashing thousands of feet below and was blown into smithereens." Sam continued, "I was taken to a hospital. I have a broken leg, broken jaw, dislocated shoulder and several injuries on my head." There was silence on the phone, then the wife asked, "Who is Mary?" |
| Santa Bhaga-Bhaga Hotel Ke Manager Ke Pass Aya Aur Chillata Hua Bola: Jaldi Chalo, Meri Biwi Khidki Se Kud Kar Jaan Dena Chahti Hai. Manager: Toh Tumhe Samjhana Chahiye, Tumhari Biwi Hai... Main Kya Kar Sakta Hun? Santa: Oye Kamine, Vo Khidki Khul Nahin Rahi Hai. Santa Ne Bus Mein Ek Ladki Ko Chhed Diya. Ladki: Tumhare Ghar Mein Maan-Behen Nahi Hai Kya? Santa Bholepan Se: Kya Pata Ji, Mein Toh Subah Se Ghar Se Bahar Hoon. Santa Apni Job Ke Liye Ek Company Mein Interview Dene Gaya. Interviewer Ne Santa Se Puchha: Landline Aur Cellphone Mein Kya Farak Hai? Intelligent Answer By Santa: Landline Mein Number Ungliyon Se Dial Karna Padta Hai Aur Cellphone Mein Anguthe Se. Ek Baar Santa Ki Biwi Jeeto Ne Bade Pyar Se Santa Ko Bola: Suno ji, Vo Teen Shabd Kaho Na... Jinhe Sunkar Mujhe Dil Se Khushi Mehsoos Hoti Hai. Santa: Galti Meri Thi. |
| Stacey makes a new friend at school and invites her home for the first time. Stacey excuses herself to fetch her mother and introduce her new friend. As her friend is standing in the living room next to the fireplace, she picks up the attractive vase on the mantle. When Stacey returns with her mother, her friend is staring curiously into the vase. "Oh, those are my father's ashes," Stacey informs her New friend. However, this startles her so that she drops the vase with a gasp! ashes and broken vase scattering all around. After turning three shades of red she stammers out, "Oh, no... I'm, oh!... I, can't... Didn't Mean to..." "It's OK dear," the mother says. "The vase was just from Asda." The new friend catches her breath enough to say, "But ... But your Husband's' ashes..." "Well," the mother says, "looks like he'll just have to get himself up and get the ashtray from the kitchen from now on!" |
| A eighteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream, "Where did you get that truck???!!!" He calmly told them, "I bought it today." "With what money?" demanded his parents. They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche cost. "Well," said the boy, "this one cost me just Fifty dollars." So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?" they said. "It was the lady up the street," said the boy. I don"t know her name - they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars." "Oh my Goodness!," moaned the mother, "she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on." So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias! He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a new Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it. "Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he had run off to Hawaii with his mistress and really doesn't intend to come back. He claimed he was stranded and needed cash, and asked me to sell his new Chevrolet Avalanche and send him the money. So I did." |