Senior actress Dimple Kapadia, who lost her estranged husband Rajesh Khanna a year ago, feels 'abandoned' without him and says it is difficult to match his immense inner strength when confronted with death.

Khanna, the first superstar of Indian cinema, had given 15 consecutive solo hit films, a record that remains unbroken till today. Dimple married Khanna in 1973 but they separated in 1984, though they did not complete the divorce proceedings. The couple united during Khanna's last days.

"It is very difficult to follow him because what I saw of him was a man of such extreme inner strength, there was no fear he had. He knew he was dying and there was no fear about death. He did not even talk about it," Dimple told PTI. "He lived normally till his last days. So it is very difficult to follow that.

But one would aspire to be like that. He was not a burden on anyone, emotionally not taxing," the 56-year-old actress said. Fondly known as 'Kaka' among his colleagues in the industry, the actor passed away on July 18 last year after being critically ill.

"I had been through crisis for six years, I lost my right hand (my sister), brother and Kakaji. They were very important people in my life. I feel truly abandoned. What keeps me going is when I see my mother.. she has lost three kids and I am the only one alive," Dimple said.

"She is like rock, strong. I don't see her crying. She takes care of herself, she is fine. She is the pillar of strength, then I have my children and grand children. I have lovely people around me. I look up and march up," she added.


There were reports that Khanna's sea-facing bungalow Aashirwad on Carter Road in Bandra was likely to be turned into a museum, which will comprise his clothes, trophies, cars and other memorabilia.

However, Dimple rubbished the report saying, "No museum will be there... absolutely not." On a complaint filed by Anita Advani, who claims to have been the live-in partner of Khanna, against Dimple Kapadia and her family under the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, she said, "I think it happens with every great person and that is the price one has to pay."

But she was humbled by the love shown by the actor's fans during his last days. "The farewell that they gave him there can't be a greater tribute than that to him. Hats off to his fans for having done that and that was absolutely unreal," she added. Dimple will be seen next in 'What the Fish' and Homi Adjania's 'Finding Fanny'.