•  

    A mild mannered man is tired of his wife always bossing him around, so he decides to go to a Psychiatrist.
    The Psychiatrist gives him a booklet on assertive training. He reads it on the way home. When he walks through the door, his wife comes to greet him.
    He tells her, "From now on, I'm the man of this home and my word is law. When I come home from work I want dinner on the table. Now, get upstairs and lay out some clothes on the bed because I'm going out with the guys tonight. Then draw my bath. When I get out of the tub, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
    "The undertaker!!!" she replies.
  • Police officer A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a blonde police officer pulled her over for speeding.
    Officer, 'May I see your licence?
    Lady, 'What does it...
  • New car This blonde was bored with driving her old BMW. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible. So she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love...
  • Spiritually! Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, 'Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?'
    'I think so,' the man replied. 'My wife has made appetizers and...
  • Girlfriend! After directory assistance gave Rosy, her boyfriend's new telephone number, she dialed him -- and got a woman.
    'Is Adam there?' Rosy asked.
    'He's in the shower,' she responded.
    'Please tell him his girlfriend...
  • Oversmart! They turned on a night light, turned the answer machine on the phone line, covered their pet parakeet and threw the cat into the backyard. They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house. The cat they had thrown...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT