Clean Jokes



Good News, Bad News

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display. "I`ve got good news and bad news," the owner replied.
"Give me the good news first...

Doctor vs Mechanic

An engineer was removing the engine parts from a racing car when he saw a famous heart surgeon in his shop. He went to him and said, "Look at this engine... I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired and...

Arriving in Heaven!

A man is standing outside the gates of Heaven. Saint Peter approaches and says, "Can I help you?"
The man replies, "No thanks."
He continues to stand on the clouds. "Are you sure I can`t...

Break the News Doctor!

Grandma was nearly ninety years of age when she won 1,000,000 pounds on the football pools. Her family were extremely worried about her heart and feared that news of her large win would...

A Secret Dental Affair

Laura fell for her handsome new dentist like a ton of bricks and pretty soon had lured him into a series of passionate rendezvous in the dental clinic after hours. But one day he said sadly...

A Visit to the Dentist

A dentist had an old lady patient who was very hard to handle. As soon as she sat in the chair, she panicked and would clamp her mouth shut so firmly that he couldn`t get it open...

Women and Shopping

A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second. In the third everything had just been reduced by 50 percent when her...

Phenomenol 2 Letter Word

I`m sure you will enjoy this. One word in the English language that could be a noun, verb, adj, adv, prep...

The Breathalyzer Test

A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer.
"I can`t do that...

You aren't Sterile!

A doctor had just delivered twins. They were a boy and a girl. The head nurse brought them out for their father to see. He could hardly believe his good fortune. The girl...