Clean Jokes


Golf Clubs!!!

A golfer is walking down to his golf course, carrying his clubs, when he sees an Arab being held up at gunpoint. He pulls out a wedge, creeps up behind the gunman and smashes it over the back of his head...

Green Balls!

A blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning. Finally the pro asks her what she wants. "I can`t find any green golf balls," the blonde golfer complains. The pro looks all over the shop, and...

Golf Emergency

A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses. "Help me dear," she groans to her husband.
The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter and...

Good Golfer!

A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between 2 trees he thought he could hit through. Taking out his 3-wood...

Pray and Hit

A young man and a priest are golfing together. At a short par-3 the priest asks, "What are you going to use on this hole, my son?"
The young man says, "An 8-iron, Father. How about you...

The 10 Best Caddy Replies

Golfer: Think I`m going to drown myself in the lake.
Caddy: Think you can keep your head down that long?
Golfer: I`d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddy: Try heaven, you`ve already...

A Lullaby for Golfers

In My Hand I Hold A Ball,
White And Dimpled, And Rather Small.
Oh, How Bland It Does Appear,
This Harmless Looking Little Sphere....

All Is Well...

At dawn the telephone rings...
"Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you...

Golfing Lessons

The new golfer asked the pro, "How much for a golf lesson?"
"They`re 13 lessons for $150 or a single lesson for $1,000."
"Why do you charge $1,000 for a single lesson...

Golf Bet

Tiger Woods and Stevie Wonder are in a bar. Tiger says to Stevie, "How`s the singing career going?"
Stevie replies, "Not too bad. How`s the golf?"
Woods replies, "I`ve had some problems...