Mature Jokes


Christmas Gifts

The very snobbish wife was discussing the subject of Christmas presents with her maid. "Now what about the butler?" the rich woman said.
"A set of wine glasses?" the maid suggested...

Performance vs Rehearsal

A newly married man was discussing his honeymoon. He says to his buddy at lunch, "Last night, I rolled over, tapped my beautiful young wife on the shoulder, gave her a wink, and we had ourselves...

The Sheikh's Punishment

Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheikh came in...

Pregnant Blonde

A blonde is pregnant, and is practically 9 months along. She goes to see her doctor for a routine check-up, but she is worried. She asks, "What if the baby starts coming, and I can`t get to the hospital...

Catatonic Sleep

A doctor drives by a small town. He stops at a gas station & notices there is no one there. A little kid passes by & tells him the gas station is closed because everyone is a the funeral...

It was time for Father John`s Saturday night bath and the young nun, Sister Magdalene, had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene was also instructed...

Deja Screw

The pick-up couple was relaxing after a satisfying session of lovemaking. The guy considered himself lucky to have been able to attract and bed such a luscious looking dish. He was even considering...

Nice Balls!

A man standing at a urinal notices that he`s being watched by a midget. "Wow," comments the midget. "Those are the nicest balls I have ever seen!"
Surprised and flattered, the man thanks the midget...

Knowing Right from Wrong

Sister Margaret had been a Nun all her life. Then she was called to her reward. As she approached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter said, "Hold on, Sister Margaret; not so fast!" "But I have been good all my life...

Sex Maniac!!!

Jones, who had been away on an extended trip, had very romantic plans for his first night home. He broached them to his wife, who promptly said, "Oh, I`m sorry, dear, but I`ve got to do all of this laundry...