An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his lawyer (both church members), to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed.
The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the...
A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the language and didn`t understand a whole lot of what was going on. Intending to visit one of the local churches, he got lost, but eventually got back on track and found the place. Having arrived late, the church was already packed. The only pew left was the one on the front row.
So as not to make a fool of himself, he decided to...
A priest decides one mid weekday to visit one of his elderly parishoners, Mrs. Smith. He rings the door bell and Mrs. Smith appears.
'Good Day Mrs. Smith. I just thought I would drop by and see how your are doing.'
The woman says, 'Oh just fine Father, come on in and we`ll have some tea.'
While sitting a the coffee table, the priest notices...
One day while walking down the street a highly successful HR Director was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
'Welcome to Heaven,' said St. Peter.
'Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we`ve never once had a Human Resources Director make it this far and we`re not really sure what...
Tommy enters the confessional box and says. . .
'Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.'
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Tommy ?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the woman you were with?'
'Sure and I can`t be tellin` you, Father. I don`t want to...
There was a huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,' said one boy.
The bucket was so full, several rolled out towards the fence. Cycling down the road by the cemetery was a third boy. As he passed, he thought...
The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions.The new priest hears a couple confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.
The old priest suggests, 'Cross you arms over your chest, and rub your...
Tommy enters the confessional box and says, 'Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.'
The priest asks, 'Is that you, Tommy ?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the woman you were with?'
'Sure and I...
Mrs. Jones was walking down a Street in Dublin, and coming in the opposite direction was Father O`Rafferty.
'Hello,' said the Father, 'And how are you Mrs. Jones? Didn`t I marry you two years ago?'
She replied 'You did that, Father.'
'And are there any...
A drunk was staggering down the main street of town. Somehow he managed to make it up the stairs to the cathedral and into the building, where he crashed from pew to pew, finally making his way to a side aisle and into a confessional.
A priest had been observing the man`s sorry progress and figuring that the fellow was in need of some assistance, proceeded to...