| He doesn't get even... he gets odder. |
| An optimist is a man who hasn't had many experiences yet. |
| The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get. |
| Did you hear about the optimist who drowned in a bath half full? |
| A pessimist is a person who mourns the future. |
| Philanthropist - One who returns to the people publicly a small percentage of the wealth he steals from them privately. |
| I am at peace with God. My conflict is with Man. |
| People who throw their weight around rarely pull it! |