| There once was a man called Sheyenne, Of women, he was a fan, But they thought, "Damn, he's fat," "I'm not touching that!" So he has to rely on his hand! |
| FRUSTRATION! My back aches, my pussy is sore; I simply can't screw any more. I'm covered with sweat, And you haven't come yet, And gosh, it's a quarter to four! |
| There once was a sculptor called Phidias Who had a distaste for the hideous. So he sculpt Aphrodite Without any nightie Which shocked the ultra-fastidious. |
| Three two-letter words that begin With I are a source of chagrin: There are guys who can cry - Even wish they could die - At that soul-searing phrase "Is it in?" |
| There once was a man named Deadeye Dick Who was cursed from birth with a corkscrew prick. He spent his life in an aimless hunt; To find a girl with a corkscrew cunt. But when he finally found one, the poor chap dropped dead; For the goddamned thing had a left-hand thread! |
| A dentist, young Doctor Malone, Got a charming girl patient alone; And in his depravity, He filled the wrong cavity - And my how his business has grown! |
| There was a young sailor named Bates Who danced the fandango on skates. But a fall on his cutlass Has rendered him nutless, And practically useless on dates. |
| There once was a man from cape Horn Who wished that he'd never been born He wouldn't have been If his father had seen That the end of his condom was torn. |
| There was a young man of Devizes whose balls were of different sizes; one was so small it was no use at all, but the other won several prizes. |
| A sweetheart named Theresa Arden; Went down on her beau in the garden. He said, "Good Lord, Tess, Don't swallow that mess!" And she replied, "Ulp, beg your pardon?" |