| Ek Flat Mein Ghanti Bajti Hai Aur Ek Mahila, Jo Ghar Mein Akeli Hai, Darwaja Kholti Hai. Bhikshuk: Maai, Bhiksha De. Mahila: Ye Lo Maharaj. Bhikshuk: Maai... Zara Ye Dwar Paar Karke Baahar Toh Aana. Mahila Darwaje Paar Karke Baahar Aati Hai. Bhikshuk Mahila Ko Pakadte Hue Kehta Hai: Ha... Ha... Ha... Ha... Main Bhikshuk Nahin, Raavan Hun. Mahila: Ha... Ha... Ha... Toh Main Bhi Kaha Sita Hun, Main Toh Kaam Wali Baai Hun. Raavan: Ha... Ha... Ha... Sita Ji Ka Apaharan Karke Toh Aaj Tak Pachta Raha Hun Main. Tumhe Le Jaunga Toh Mandodari Khush Ho Jayegi, Usko Bhi Kaam Wali Baai Ki Zaroorat Hai. Mahila: Ha... Ha... Ha... Oye Pagle, Sita Mata Ko Dhoondne Toh Sirf Prabhu Ram Aur Laxman Ji Aaye The... Mujhe Dhoondne Toh Saari Society Aayegi, Kyunki Sabhi Ke Flats Ki Diwali Ki Safaai Abhi Baaki Hai. |
| Akbar asked Birbal to look for Five of the biggest idiots in the Country and produce them in his Royal cyourt within a month. After a month's extensive search, Birbal brought to the Royal Court only two people !! "But I asked for Five," Akbar angrily thundered. "My Lord, Give me a chance to present them one by one," Birbal pleaded and went on to present his list of idiots: "Maharaj, this man, while travelling in a Bullock cart, was keeping his luggage on his head, so as to reduce the load on the Bullocks. He is the First idiot." (In Corporate parlance , the Managers who take all the Work-load on themselves and do not delegate at all). Pointing to the second man Birbal continued, "And this man here is the Second idiot. Some Grass grew on the Roof of his thatched house and he was trying to force his Cow, to climb up a ladder to graze on the Grass." (In Corporate parlance, those who set unrealistic Targets and force their Team members to achieve them, without realising the actual capabilities & competencies of their subordinates). Birbal continued, "Maharaj, there are a lot of important jobs for me to do in the Administration. but I ignored all of them and wasted one precious month, searching for idiots. According to me, I am the Third idiot." (Idiots who rush obediently for taking up any stupid job Assignments, without any qualms). Birbal paused here for a moment. "Who are the Fourth and Fifth idiots?" Akbar thundered. "Beg your pardon, Maharaj," Birbal continued, "You are the King and you are responsible for the well-being of the entire Country and its people. You need wise persons, to help you oversee the affairs of the Country. Instead of looking out for wise people, you engaged me to look for idiots. According to me, Your Majesty, you are the Fourth idiot." (Bad leaders who come up with poor Strategies and want idiots to follow them blindly). And, Maharaj, the person who is glued to *Whatsapp* keeping aside all his High Priority Assignments, oblivious of pressing needs of his family, just to learn who is the Fifth idiot, is himself the Fifth idiot. What do you say, Maharaj ?" Akbar said, "Post it immediately in all groups." |
| The king wanted to go fishing, and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours. The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain. So the king and the queen went fishing. On the way he met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and he asked the man if the fish were biting. The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a short time I expect a huge rainstorm." The king replied, "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him." So the king continued on his way. However, in a short time a torrential rain fell from the sky The King and Queen were totally soaked. Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the meteorologist. Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious position of royal forecaster. The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain." So the king hired the donkey. And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential positions of government. The practice is unbroken to this date. |
| A man and his wife were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor. "Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed son number one... "Sorry I'm running late... had an emergency, you know how it is, didn't have time to get you both a present." "Not to worry," said the dad... "the important thing is that we're all here together today." Son number two arrived and announced, "you and Mom still look great, Dad just flew in from L.A. and didn't have time to get you a present... Sorry." "It's nothing," said the father, "Glad you were able to be here." Just then the daughter arrived, "Hello both of you, Happy Anniversary! I'm sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing... so I didn't have time to get you guys anything." Again the father said, "I really don't care, at least the five of us are together today." After they had all finished dessert, the father put down his knife and fork, looked up and said, "Listen up, all three of you, there's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we were able to raise each of you and send you to college. All through the years your mother and I knew that we loved each other deeply, but we never found the time to actually get married." The three kids gasp and said, "You mean we're bastards?" Yep," said the dad... "and cheap ones too!" |