| So, my wife managed to crash the car again today. When the police showed up, she was all fired up, insisting that the guy she hit was being totally reckless. "He was on his phone! Can you believe it?!" she exclaimed. "And, to make matters worse, he was sitting there, casually sipping on a can of beer!" The officer, trying his best to hold back a smile, took a deep breath, looked her dead in the eye, and said, "Ma'am... he can do whatever he wants... in his own living room." |
| Two multimillionaire friends met up for lunch and started chatting. "So how's your home life?" asks the first multimillionaire. "Couldn't be better," replies the second multimillionaire. "I bought an elephant!" "An elephant? Are you crazy?" "It's the best purchase I ever made! He grazes the lawn and makes it nice and even. The kids love to ride him and slide down his trunk, so now they are playing outside and being kids instead of just watching TV all day. My wife loves him too. He's very strong and helps her move things when I'm not around. Honestly, I can't think of a better pet." The first multimillionaire thinks for a moment. "That's actually kind of amazing. How much did you pay for him?" "Five hundred thousand dollars. What a bargain, huh?" "Can I buy him for one million dollars?" "What?! I can't sell him. He's part of my family now!" "Okay. Two million?" "You can't put a price on something so useful!" "Three million?" "Fine. I'll sell him for three million dollars, but only because you're my friend." A few months later, the multimillionaires meet again. The first multimillionaire is raging. "The elephant may have been useful to you, but he's a burden to me. He may have grazed your lawn, but he ate all my trees and left dung all over my lawn. The kids are terrified of that huge, noisy, aggressive thing. My wife and I haven't had a good night's sleep in months because the elephant keeps us awake. It's the worst purchase I ever made!" "I don't know what to say," says the second multimillionaire. "But with that attitude, you'll never be able to sell him!" |
| Ek Flat Mein Ghanti Bajti Hai Aur Ek Mahila, Jo Ghar Mein Akeli Hai, Darwaja Kholti Hai. Bhikshuk: Maai, Bhiksha De. Mahila: Ye Lo Maharaj. Bhikshuk: Maai... Zara Ye Dwar Paar Karke Baahar Toh Aana. Mahila Darwaje Paar Karke Baahar Aati Hai. Bhikshuk Mahila Ko Pakadte Hue Kehta Hai: Ha... Ha... Ha... Ha... Main Bhikshuk Nahin, Raavan Hun. Mahila: Ha... Ha... Ha... Toh Main Bhi Kaha Sita Hun, Main Toh Kaam Wali Baai Hun. Raavan: Ha... Ha... Ha... Sita Ji Ka Apaharan Karke Toh Aaj Tak Pachta Raha Hun Main. Tumhe Le Jaunga Toh Mandodari Khush Ho Jayegi, Usko Bhi Kaam Wali Baai Ki Zaroorat Hai. Mahila: Ha... Ha... Ha... Oye Pagle, Sita Mata Ko Dhoondne Toh Sirf Prabhu Ram Aur Laxman Ji Aaye The... Mujhe Dhoondne Toh Saari Society Aayegi, Kyunki Sabhi Ke Flats Ki Diwali Ki Safaai Abhi Baaki Hai. |
| Akbar asked Birbal to look for Five of the biggest idiots in the Country and produce them in his Royal cyourt within a month. After a month's extensive search, Birbal brought to the Royal Court only two people !! "But I asked for Five," Akbar angrily thundered. "My Lord, Give me a chance to present them one by one," Birbal pleaded and went on to present his list of idiots: "Maharaj, this man, while travelling in a Bullock cart, was keeping his luggage on his head, so as to reduce the load on the Bullocks. He is the First idiot." (In Corporate parlance , the Managers who take all the Work-load on themselves and do not delegate at all). Pointing to the second man Birbal continued, "And this man here is the Second idiot. Some Grass grew on the Roof of his thatched house and he was trying to force his Cow, to climb up a ladder to graze on the Grass." (In Corporate parlance, those who set unrealistic Targets and force their Team members to achieve them, without realising the actual capabilities & competencies of their subordinates). Birbal continued, "Maharaj, there are a lot of important jobs for me to do in the Administration. but I ignored all of them and wasted one precious month, searching for idiots. According to me, I am the Third idiot." (Idiots who rush obediently for taking up any stupid job Assignments, without any qualms). Birbal paused here for a moment. "Who are the Fourth and Fifth idiots?" Akbar thundered. "Beg your pardon, Maharaj," Birbal continued, "You are the King and you are responsible for the well-being of the entire Country and its people. You need wise persons, to help you oversee the affairs of the Country. Instead of looking out for wise people, you engaged me to look for idiots. According to me, Your Majesty, you are the Fourth idiot." (Bad leaders who come up with poor Strategies and want idiots to follow them blindly). And, Maharaj, the person who is glued to *Whatsapp* keeping aside all his High Priority Assignments, oblivious of pressing needs of his family, just to learn who is the Fifth idiot, is himself the Fifth idiot. What do you say, Maharaj ?" Akbar said, "Post it immediately in all groups." |