There were once 3 men who were in jail. One was rather stupid, one was a bit cleverer, and one was the cleverest.
The cleverest man made a plan to escape. During the escape they had to cross one large field. The clever man crossed it by crawling behind a hedgerow, the slightly clever man ran across, and the stupid man carelessly strolled across the field, whistling ten bottles of beer (sitting on a wall), and taking his time.
Now, two lesbians owned this field, and hearing the whistling, stopped the men.
"You have been trespassing" they both said in unison,"...and for that you shall be punished."
The Lesbians, not knowing that these men had just escaped from jail said, "We shall now legally remove your manhoods in a manner according to your job."
The dumb man, not thinking said, "Oh yes, I'm a butcher!"
They sliced his penis off like ham.
The slightly clever man was about to say that he was a chemist, but with thought that the lesbians might be in possession of sulphuric acid said, "I'm a Lumberjack" - he wanted the pain to be quick... and so it was. Just in one single chop.
The lesbians were enjoying this, and with smug faces, turned to the cleverest man, who said-with an equally smug face, "Oh me...I test lollipops." |
Someone's Coming One evening Snow White decided she was sleepy and announced to the seven dwarfs that she was going to bed. After the usual lengthy round of "Good Nights" she went upstairs... 
Sunday School The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning when she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven... 
Stuck Peanut One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of catching one... 
The Intern A new intern is getting a tour of the hospital he will be working in. He walks past a room where a man is vigorously masturbating... 
Pussy and Bitch A kid comes home from school and says to his mom, "Mom I've got a problem."