The Honest Lawyer

  •  

    An old penny pincher had no friends. Just before he died he asked his doctor, lawyer, and pastor to gather around him at bedside.

    "I have always heard that you can't take it with you. But I want to disprove that theory," he said. "I have $90,000 under my mattress, and when I die, just before they throw the dirt on me at my burial, I want you each to toss in an envelope with $30,000 within."

    The three attended the funeral and each threw his envelope in the grave.

    On the way back from the cemetery, the pastor said, "I must confess. I needed $10,000 for my new church, so I only threw in $20,000."

    The doctor then said, "I must confess too. I needed $20,000 for a new hospital I was opening up, so I only threw in $10,000."

    The lawyer looked at them both and shook his head.

    He then said, "Gentlemen, I'm surprised, shocked, and ashamed of you. I don't see how you could dare to go against that man's final wish. I mean, I threw in my personal check for the full amount..."
  • His Last Wishes Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been.
    "Sidney thought of everything...
  • The Blonde & The Chimps A blonde was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to...
  • Better Lover A maid asks for a pay rise.
    “Why do you deserve one?” asks the lady of the house.
    “Well, there are three...
  • Worst Turbulence Three men of the cloth, a Catholic, a Jew and an Episcopalian were on an airplane trip together. They ran into the worst turbulence in the history of aviation...
  • Sign from God! A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it's a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither are hurt. They crawl out of their cars and the rabbi sees...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT