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    Two guys are in a locker room when one guy notices the other guy has a cork in his ass.

    He says, "How'd you get a cork in your ass?"

    The other guy says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a red man in a turban came oozing out. He said, 'I am Tonto, Indian Genie. I can grant-um you one wish.'"

    And I said, "No shit."
  • Just like my Wife A drunk walked into a bar and, after staring at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her...
  • Pervy Doctor An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old lady, entered the doctor's office.
    "We have come for an examination," said the young girl...
  • Vaseline for Sex! A telemarketer was taking a survey. He told the woman on the line, "I represent the company that makes Vaseline and we're doing a survey of the many uses of Vaseline...
  • Sex with the Maid A Man calls up his Doctor frantically and says, "Doctor, you have got to help me. I have taken a dose of Viagra and just spoke to my wife on her cellphone...
  • Charge by the Inch Having had one too many, a man at a bar was beginning to display an ugly side.

    An unescorted female sat down beside him and he whispered to her, "Hey, how about it babe—you and me?"

    The woman got up to move away from the drunk, and as she did, the man said loudly, "Honey, you look like you could use the money, but I don't have an extra two dollars."

    She looked back and replied just as loudly, "What makes you think I charge by the inch?"
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