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    The teacher advised the class that they start each day with the pledge of allegiance and instructed them to put their right hand over their hearts and repeat after her.

    As she starts the recitation, she looks around the room, 'I pledge allegiance to the flag...' When her eyes fell on Johnny, she found he had his hand over the right cheek of his buttocks.

    'Johnny, I will not continue until you put your hand over your heart.'

    Johnny replied, 'But it is over my heart.'

    After several attempts to get Johnny to put his hand over his heart, the teacher asked, 'Why do you think that is your heart?'

    'Because every time my Grandma comes to visit, she picks me up and pats me here and says, 'Bless your little heart,' and my Grandma wouldn't lie!'
  • Proverbs from the Mouths of Babes A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb and asked them to come up with the rest. Here is is how they answered
  • Fishing Bait Having arived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by...
  • Novice Hunter A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle showed him the usual things - chickens, cows, crops, etc. After three days...
  • Have an Affair "The thrill is gone from my marriage," Peter told his friend Alex.
    Alex suggests, "Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair...
  • The Argument A husband and wife were involved in an argument both of them unwilling to admit that they might be wrong.
    "I'll admit I was wrong", the wife told her husband...
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