The Nervous Priest

  •  

    The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions for the first time, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions.

    The new priest hears a couple confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.

    The old priest suggests, "Cross you arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand."

    The new priest tries this.

    The old priest suggests, "Try saying things like, 'I see,' 'yes, go on,' and 'I understand.' 'How did you feel about that?'"

    The new priest says those things.

    The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying, 'No shit?!? What happened next?'"
  • Weight Problem A young woman was having a physical examination and was embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed...
  • Is it Yours? A Pole, an Italian, and a Jew, all first-time fathers-to-be, are pacing nervously in the Maternity Ward waiting room when a nurse rushes out of the delivery room holding
  • An innocent gesture One night a fellow drove his secretary home after she had imbibed a little too much at an office reception. Although this was an innocent gesture, he decided not to mention it to...
  • Free Ride A mother asked her young son, as they waited for the bus, to tell the driver he was 5 years old, because then he would ride for free...
  • Learn to be more polite One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT