Nothing but the truth

  •  

    Mr. Smith asked his wife for advice about his upcoming court case in which he could possibly win $50,000 from the insurance company.

    "Honey, if I lie, I'll win the case. But then I would have broken an oath sworn on the Holy Bible."

    His wife says, "I don't want to advise you to do the wrong thing, but..."

    "But, what?"

    "Let me put it this way," his wife explained. "Treat the prosecuting attorney like I treat you in bed."

    Puzzled, Mr. Smith asks, "How so?"

    Mrs. Smith replies, "Just lie there 'til he goes away."
  • How to Quit Smoking Two blondes are having lunch catching up with each other's news. "I heard you've given up smoking, is it true?"
    "Yes, I haven't had a cigarette in almost two months...
  • My wife is a liar "That wife of mine is a liar," said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him in the bar.

    "How do you know?" the friend asked....
  • Three times in a row From the outset, the blind date was a fiasco, and it was intensified by the fact that the fellow was too insensitive, uncouth, and ego-ridden to realize it.
    The moment of truth came in the supper club as he clutched the girl's thigh...........
  • Navel Kiss The young blonde American girl, on her very first trip to Paris, decided to test the French male's fabled expertise in the art of love-making. On her first date...
  • Rubber gloves A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.
    "Do you know how they make...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT