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    The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two."

    Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.

    He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."
  • Impromptu practice session A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his school's soccer team to an "away game".
    They stop for a rest break, and to let the kids work off some energy with...
  • Don't mess with old people George, an elderly man, was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window...
  • Free at last God offered his tablet of commandments to the world. He first approached the Italians. "What commandments do you offer?" they asked.
    He answered, "Thou shalt not...
  • Smart husband Husband sent a text to wife at night, "Hi babe I will get late, please try and wash all my dirty clothes and make sure you prepare my favourite dish before I return...
  • Like a baby Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says, 'John, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches...
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