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    At a pharmacy, Judi asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms.

    The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infant's weight by weighing Judi and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first.

    'It won't work,' Judi countered. 'I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt.'
  • Little Johnny Crying Little Johnny runs down the stairs in tears. His mother asked, "What's the matter now?"
    "Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with hammer," said little Johnny...
  • Impolite Child Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her needle...
  • Blonde and the Barking Dog A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says...
  • When Death Came Death came to a guy and said,"My friend today is your day..."
    The guy said,"But I am not ready!"
    Then death said, "Well your name is the next on my list...
  • Blonde Commits Suicide A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
    'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked her...
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