Psychiatric Hotline

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    Recording - "Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline."

    If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

    If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

    If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

    If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line until we can trace the call.

    If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

    If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
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