Perfect Timing

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    Otto von Bismark, the first Chancellor of the German Empire from 1871-90 had been conversing for a rather long time with the British Ambassador to Germany when the latter posed the question, "How do you handle insistent visitors who take up so much of your valuable time?"

    Bismark answered, "Oh, I have an infallible method. My servant appears and informs me that my wife has something urgent to tell me."

    At that moment there was a knock at the door, and a servant entered with a message from his wife.
  • Swollen Foot Santa goes to the podiatrist with a swollen foot. After a careful examination, the doctor hands him a pill that looks big enough to choke a...
  • Stuttering Problem! Banta, although ordinarily eloquent, had the misfortune of stuttering badly when excited.
    Once, when walking with his friend Santa down a crowded city street, he said with great excitement...
  • The Lodger! Last year in France, Jacque went to his local priest and confessed: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During the Second world War, I hid a Jewish man in my...
  • Oldest Profession! A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented.
    The physician said, "Remember, on the sixth day...
  • Looking on the Bright Side An elderly man took his little grandson for a walk around the local cemetery. Pausing before one gravestone, he said, "There lies a very honest man. He died owing me...
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