The Opportunist!

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    A bloke stops to visit his mate who has a broken leg.

    His friend says, "My feet are cold, can you go and get me my slippers from upstairs please."

    The guy goes upstairs, and there are his mate's gorgeous twin 18 year old daughters.

    "Hi, girls. Your dad sent me up here to make love to you."

    The first daughter says, "That's not true."

    He says, "I'll prove it."

    He yells down the stairs, "Both of them?"

    His mate yells back, "Of course, both of them?"
  • The Irish Hooker Murphy was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the dark shadows.
    "Twenty pounds," she whispers...
  • Viagra Dosage! An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra.
    The pharmacist said, "That`s no problem. How many do you want...
  • No More Shake Please... Little Johnny was in trouble again.....He was charged with the rape of a grown woman, and all though the crime seemed highly improbable, the state`s evidence was overwhelming...
  • Like Father, Like Daughter Girl to her boyfriend: You know my eyes are just like mom, isn`t it cute...?
    Boy: Yes, but you never noticed your boobs like just as your dad`s....
  • Calorie Count... A young lady who thought she was overweight went to see a dietitian. She walked into his office and asked several questions about dieting, exercise, and other things. Her final question...
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