| Vodafone Method: Hire a lion, give him full rest, pay him more than his expectation, never ask him to do any hard work for 3 months. After 3 months tell him that now you have to fulfill your yearly target within 9 months. Otherwise you will be kicked out from the jungle. Lion dies due to fear, that if he loses this "lazy animals jungle", where will he go. Reliance Method: Hire a lion. Give him hell lot of work and pay him fat salary more than industry. Restructure his job, position, boss, colleagues, designation, department, salary, location every 6 months. If he kills 2 goats a day, give him target of killing 20 elephants a day, when there are just 10 elephants in the jungle. Lion dies of exhaustion, overkill and restructuring. Tata Method: Hire a lion and give him the post of a cat, ask him to meow like a cat. Give him lots of ESOPs and grass to eat. He will die eventually of hope and starvation. Airtel Method: Hire a lion and ask him to extract 60 kg meat out of a 40kg goat. Lion dies out of strain. BSNL Method: Hire a lion and give him a 3000 page circular on how to kill a goat. Amend the circular at least three times a week. Send him on inspection to the jungle, where he can threaten to cancel the hunting license of any fox, wolf, bear, jackal etc who have violated any provision of the 3000 page circular. Lion dies of boredom. Aircel Method: Recruits a lion, give him 50 kg meat everyday to eat when he can't eat more than 20 kg. Lion dies due to overeating. Idea Method: Recruits a lion, asks him to kill elephant without any pain and scratches to it. Lion is made a part of a CFT with ducks, rabbits and pigeons telling Lion how to kill Dinosaurs. Lion is provided with three wolves to help the killing but with a pre-condition that wolves will not run or move. Lion dies due to confusion and paradoxes. Uninor Method: Hire a lion. Give him hell lot of work and pay him fat salary more than industry. Daily celebrate stv day, bill him lots of stvs, change product every day, he will confused... MTS is out of race as Russians don't know about Lions - they only know about Siberian Tigers! |