| 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week." 4. My mother taught me LOGIC - "Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC - "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught me IRONY - "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM - "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA - "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER - "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 13. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like your father." 15. My mother taught me about ENVY - "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION - "Just wait until we get home." 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING - "You are going to get it when you get home." 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE - "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." 19. My mother taught me ESP - "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20. My mother taught me HUMOR - "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT - "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. My mother taught me GENETICS - "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me ROOTS - "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. My mother taught me WISDOM - "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 25. My mother taught me JUSTICE - "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you." How many of these did your mother teach? AND how many did you teach your children? |