This Year's Best Lexphillies

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    Lexophile: (Lovers of Words) is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless."

    A competition to see who can come up with the best lexphillies is held every year in an undisclosed location. This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.

    ... When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

    ... A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

    ... When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

    ... The batteries were given out free of charge.

    ... A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

    ... A will is a dead giveaway.

    ... With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

    ... A boiled egg is hard to beat.

    ... When you've seen one shopping Center you've seen a mall.

    ... Police were called to a day care Center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

    ... Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

    ... A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

    ... When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

    ... The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

    ... He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

    ... When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.

    ... Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

    ... Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.
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    They never see each other... BUT, 1. They blink together.
    2. They move together...
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    Santa: Haan Yaar Doctor Ko Dikhaate Hee Theek Ho Gaya !
    Banta (Hairani se): Achchha ! Kaunsi Dawa...
  • Preparing for Guests Wife: Mehmaan Aa Rahe Hain Aur Ghar Main Daal Ke Siva Kuchh Bhi Nahi.
    Husband: Jab Woh Aaye Toh Kitchen Mein Ek Bartan Gira Dena, Aur Jab Main Puchchu Toh Kehna Ki KORMA Gir Gaya...
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