A Gujarati Funeral

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    A family in Gujarat was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother (Ba) arrived from the US. It was sent by one of the daughters. The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it when they opened the lid; they found a letter on top addressed to her brothers and sisters:

    Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Neetaben and Varsha,
    I am sending Ba's body to you, since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in GUJARAT.

    Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave is consumed.

    You will find inside the coffin, under Ba's body, cans of cheese, 10 packets of Tobler chocolates and 8 packets of Badam (peanuts) please divide these among all of you.

    On Ba's feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha's and Lakshmi's sons. Hope the sizes are correct.

    Ba is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan.Just distribute the rest among yourselves. The 2 new Jeans that Ba is wearing are for the boys.

    The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba's left wrist. Shanta masi, Ba is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them off her.

    The 6 white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided among my nephews. Please distribute all these fairly.

    Love Neeta.
    PS: If anything more required let me know soon as Bapuji is also not feeling too well nowadays...
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