Going to Heaven

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    An Young lady dies and goes to heaven. She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams.

    "Don't worry about that!", says St. Peter, "It's only someone having the holes drilled into her shoulder blades for the wings."

    The lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation. A few minutes later, there are more blood curdling screams.

    "Oh my Goodness", says the lady, "now what is happening?"

    "Not to worry," says St. Peter, "she's just having her head drilled to fit the halo."

    "I can't do this", says the lady, "I'm going to hell!"

    "You can't go to that nasty place", says St. Peter. "You'll be raped and taken advantage of!"

    "Maybe so", says the young lady, "but I've already got the holes for that...!"
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    "What would you say if I told you that I`ve been sleeping with...
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    The man folds up his newspaper, coughs slightly and replies...
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    "The hospital I was in was very specialized."
    "How so ?" asked his friend.
    "They had a food nurse...
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    Boy: No.
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    "No," the talented blonde artist said. "I don"t do that...
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