Arriving in Heaven!

  •  

    A man is standing outside the gates of Heaven. Saint Peter approaches and says, "Can I help you?"

    The man replies, "No thanks."

    He continues to stand on the clouds.

    "Are you sure I can't help you?" says Saint Peter.

    "No. That's fine," says the man.

    Several minutes pass before Saint Peter approaches the man again.

    "Look," he says, "You do realize that if you're here, you're dead - right?"

    "Oh I realize that," replies the man.

    "You realize that," Saint Peter repeats.

    The man points down through the clouds, "I'm just waiting for the Medics down there to realize that!"
  • Feeling Depressed? Whenever I feel depressed in my life... I open my E-Mail spam inbox... and I find: 10 banks are giving me easy loans.
    I have won GBP 10000000 and USD 500000 for unknown reasons...
  • Pushing The Wrong Way... Two boys were struggling with a huge table in a doorway. They pushed and pulled and upped it and downed it until both were exhausted.
    Between gasps for air, one managed to say, "We better give up... because we`ll never...
  • Mutton Recipe for Ramzan Mullah Nasruddin returned home grinning foolishly on a festival holiday and his wife wondered aloud about what was so funny. Mullah revealed that he had bought a fine leg of lamb from the market. On his way home he...
  • Marry Me Again One evening a man was very impressed with the meat entree his wife had served. "What did you marinate this in?" he asked.
    His wife immediately went into a long explanation about how much she loves him and how...
  • Monopoly Money Ricky was at the mall and went into a toy shop, picked up a toy plane, gave the shopkeeper Monopoly money and started to leave. The shopkeeper told him, "Excuse me little boy, this isn`t real money...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT