| A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: Did you find the shampoo? He answers: Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine. A blond man goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet. The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me." The blond man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet." A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND" He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up. A blond man shouts frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor. "No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!" A blond man is in jail. The guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet. "Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks. "Hanging myself," the blond replies. "The rope should be around your neck" says the guard. "I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe." An Italian tourist asks a blond man: Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats? To which the blonde man replies: If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat." |