Too Old To Drive

  •  

    My neighbor was working in his yard when he was startled by a late model car that came crashing through his hedge and ended up in his front lawn.

    He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car and sat her down on a lawn chair.He said with excitement, "You appear quite elderly to be driving."

    "Well, yes, I am," she replied proudly. "I'll be 97 next month, and I am now old enough, that I don't even need a driver's license anymore."

    He asked "How do you know?"

    "The last time I went to my doctor, he examined me and asked if I had a driver's license. I told him, yes and handed it to him. He took scissors out of the drawer, cut the license into pieces, and threw them in the waste basket, saying, 'You won't need this anymore.' So I thanked him and left!"
  • Scotch & Water A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I`m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it`s today. The bartender says, "Well, since it`s...
  • Work Phone The phone bill was exceptionally high. Man called a family meeting to discuss.
    Dad: This is unacceptable. I don`t use home phone, I use my work phone.
    Mum: Me too. I hardly use...
  • New HR Policy Dress Code:
    You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially...
  • Miracle, Shmiracle Doctor Bloom, who was known for miraculous cures for arthritis, had a waiting room full of people, when a little old lady, completely bent over in half, shuffled in slowly, leaning on her cane. When her turn came...
  • Loyal Guards Kim Jong-Un and Vladimir Putin were having a summit meeting at a 20-story building. During a break, the two leaders made a bet about the loyalty of their guards. First, Putin called his guard Ivan...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT