Sexual Abstinence

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    An elderly couple, still very loving after all these years, is shocked when the woman's doctor says she has a heart condition that could kill her at any time. She is to avoid stress, eat right, and never, ever have sex again - the strain would be too much.

    The couple reluctantly try to live by these rules. Both get really horny over time, however, and the husband decides he'd better sleep downstairs on the couch to guard against temptation. This works for a few weeks, until late one night when they meet each other on the stairs. She's coming downstairs, he's heading up.

    "Honey, I have a confession to make," the woman says, her voice quavering. "I was about to commit suicide."

    "I'm glad to hear it, sweetie," the man says, "Because I was just coming upstairs to kill you!"

    Well, it didn't kill her, and they both outlived her doctor.
  • Old Slapper Two 16 year old girls are at School. One is really posh, while the other is a bit of a slapper. The teacher asks the posh one to give her a sentence with the word `improper` in it. She replies in her posh accent...
  • Newlywed Virgin A young woman, who knew absolutely nothing about sex, fell in love with a man and agreed to marry him. As their wedding day approached, she became very nervous about her impending deflowering. Putting her anxiety aside...
  • Tharki Pappu Teacher: Condom Ko Urdu Mein Kya Kehte Hain?
    Sab Chup Baithe Rehte Hain. Kisi Ko Nahi Pata Tha. Pappu Apna Khurafati Dimaag Daudaata Hai Aur Haath Khada Kar Ke Bolta Hai: Master ji Mein Bataun...
  • How Many Slices of Toast? Two couples are having their wedding reception in the same hotel, and the two grooms are having a few beers together at the bar. "I bet I make love to my wife tonight more times than you make love to yours...
  • Tits Out To Here! Dave walks into a bar and sees John sitting at the end of the bar counter with a great big smile on his face.
    Dave says, "John what are you so happy for?"
    "Well Dave, I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxing...
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