Wedding Text Messages

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    The Bureau of Meteorology forecasts heavy snowfalls so the bride can expect a few good inches overnight.

    Love is a thousand miles long but comes in six inch installments.

    The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

    Sorry I cannot be at Wedding... Please send me a photo of Bride and Groom Mounted.

    Easy on the throttle, steady on the gears, roll her over gently and She'll last for many years.

    Dont keep him in the dog house too often or he might give his bone to the woman next door.

    Treat him like a flower... grab him by the stalk.

    If you don't want the Stork to come, Shoot in the air.

    Go for it mate. We all did!

    She offered her honour, He honoured her offer, and all night he was on her and off her.

    Don't Spring on the Inner-Spring this Spring or there will be an Off-Spring next Spring.

    Hope your honeymoon is like a train ride through the Khyber Pass, One long hard route.

    Please remember that Brandy makes you Randy, Whisky makes you Frisky, but its a good stiff Johnny Walker that makes you Pregnant.

    Congratulations on the termination of your isolation and may I express an appreciation of your determination to end the desperation and frustration which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make a combination to bring an accumulation to the population.

    Treat the Bride like a new car, go easy for the first 500.
  • Coming Out Of The Closet A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big...
  • One Night Stand with a Fat Woman A chap meets a fat lass at a disco. He chats her up, they get on well, so at the end of the evening she asks him back to her flat. He`s not too sure because she is a bit on the large side but he thinks what the hell...
  • Bragging Cowboys Three cowboys, one from Texas, one from Kansas and one from Canada went into a bar bragging about who was the baddest of the three. The Texan said watch this and yelled at the barmaid...
  • Let's Do The 69! A very tired husband came home from the office after a long grueling day to find his wife in her sexiest nightgown waiting for him at the door with a couple of glasses of wine in hand. She took his brief...
  • To All Employees Who Work Overtime... Oh husband, dear husband, I tremble with fear;
    You`ve been on overtime almost all year;
    And since you are gone till way late at night,
    A good piece of ass seems way out of sight...
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