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    Found my son and his girlfriend naked in his room. Sex-ed is so advanced now, they also give homework!

    I heard my daughter tell her friend she ate her boyfriend's cock last night. Last time I checked she didn't like chicken for dinner!

    My son and his friends are great. They always spray the house with air freshener before I get home!

    My son is so thoughtful... I overheard him say he gave his our maid a cream pie.

    My son's black friends always ask me if I can "make it clap"... of course I can. All I need is two hands.

    My daughter's boyfriend always checks her for breast cancer...How considerate.

    My son's black friends must be bad at basketball...They keep talking about how they want to double team me.

    My son used a whole box of tissues last week ... He must be really sick.

    My son wants to make video games when he grows up. So it's important he plays as much as he can to learn.

    My son is in his room watching "human reproduction videos" for his science class.

    I put the oregano in my sons room all over my spaghetti and now everything has been so funny for me.

    My son's friend said he wanted to get "stoned"... What a horrible way to die. Why would he say that?

    My son sent a text to his girlfriend saying "I'm gonna tear that pussy up". He's grounded! Animal abuse is NOT tolerated in this household!

    I think my daughter secretly loves star wars, I found a vibrating light saber under her bed!

    I swear bugs fly near my head just to watch me slap myself.

    My son is always tending to his in-home garden... I never understood why he grows his plants in the closet though.

    My daughter is such a great tutor... Every boy in school is always leaving her room with a big smile on their face.

    My son and his friend always talk about getting that weed, never knew they took gardening so seriously.

    My sons friend keep asking me if my back door is open. They must love the new pool!

    My son always deletes the history on his laptop... He's always thinking of ways to make it run faster! Smart boy.
  • Bad Breath!!! One evening Ole and Sven are sitting in the bar getting drunk. Ole turns to Sven and asks, "Ven do you suppose dose girls are gonna make out vit us?"
    Sven says, "Donno, but I`m drunk enuf to go ask em...
  • Screams of Passion!!! An American, a Englishman and an Aussie are talking about screams of passion. The American said, "Last night I massaged my wife all over her Body with the finest body oil money can buy, then we made passionate love...
  • Best Blow Job A groom passed down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar. The best man noticed that the groom had the biggest, brightest smile on his face. The best man asked, "Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married...
  • The First Night A young couple married, and celebrated their first night together doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all night long. when they get in the morning, the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel...
  • A Forgetful Fresher Anyone who`s ever been to a "teaching hospital" knows to expect a group of students to descend upon them at any time. At one such hospital, in the recovery room, a bunch of students gathered around a beautiful blonde...
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