A Strange, Strange World

  •  

    A statement of our new reality as I remembered the good old days when a snowman was just a snowman.

    8:00 AM I made a snowman.

    8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

    8:15 So, I made a snow woman.

    8:17 My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

    8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.

    8:22 The transgender ma.. wom...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

    8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

    8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

    8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa.

    8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended.

    8:42 The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

    8:43 The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

    8:45 TV news crew from the ABC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.

    9:00 I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic, sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

    9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices. My children are taken by social services.

    9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded.

    Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just a view of the world in which we live today, and it is only getting worse.
  • Squat to Pee Tim and Nancy lived in Anchorage, Alaska. Right downtown. Their house was literally right downtown. But they had no indoor plumbing. They did, however, have an outhouse. The older Tim got, the further...
  • Who Let The Farts Out A woman goes to her boyfriend`s parents` house for Christmas dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning...
  • Ordnance Factory Blast A terrific explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory, and once all the mess has been cleared up, an inquiry begins. One of the few survivors is pulled up to make a statement. "Okay Simpson," says the investigator...
  • Interrupted! A young couple was engaged in a most affectionate embrace when there came the sound of a key in the front door. The young lady broke away at once, eyes wide with alarm. "Heavens," she cried, "it`s my husband...
  • Nokia 3310 Vs iPhone As I sat down in the pub with my pint, I put my Nokia 3310 on the table in front of me. My mate immediately burst out laughing and put his iPhone next to mine. I gave it a disdainful look. "Why don`t you get a better phone...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT