What You Like Vs What You Need

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    A man was shopping in the men's department at Bloomingdale's when he noticed an absolutely beautiful woman behind the sales counter.

    He went up to her and said, "Good morning, madam."

    She smiled pleasantly and asked, "And what would you like?"

    The man said, "I'd like to wrap my arms around you and squeeze you tight. Then run my hand up and down your bottom and squeeze that. Then run my hands along your inner thighs, up underneath your dress. When I get to your sweet womanhood, I'd like to rub that while simultaneously unbuttoning your blouse with my teeth and then suck on your beautiful breasts and bite your nipples lightly...
    But what I *need* is a new tie!"
  • Lower Mouth!!! A very naive British sailor is in a bar in London. He meets a wild girl, and she takes him upstairs. She takes off her pants and her panties. He looks between her legs, and he says, "What`s that...
  • Not A Natural Blonde! "Miss, I`m sorry but we can`t employ you as a center-fold model", the editor of a men`s magazine explained. "It`s all too obvious that your blonde hair isn`t natural, since the hair between your legs is black...
  • How Babies Are Delivered When the gynecologist confirmed her suspicion that she was pregnant, Judy got a little scared. "It`ll be my first baby," she confessed with a blush, "and actually I don`t know the first thing about how babies are delivered."
  • Tattoo on Private Part There is a woman sitting with a bunch of guys at a bar. The guys were all showing off their tattoos and uttering sexist remarks as to how women cannot take enough pain to get a tattoo. After listening to the guys...
  • Sex on The Piano The teacher says, "Okay, class, we`re going to play a game today. I want everyone to give me a sentence with the word `perhaps` in it."
    Claude says, "Perhaps if we are good, the teacher won`t give us...
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