Helpful Neighbor

  •  

    A man is in court. The Judges says, "on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"

    "Guilty," said the man in the dock.

    At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted, "You dirty rat!"

    The Judge asked the man to sit down and to refrain from making any noise.

    The Judge continued, "...and that also on the 17th September you are accused of killing your son by beating him to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"

    "Guilty," said the man in the dock.

    Again the same man at the back stood up and shouted even louder, "You dirty rotten stinking rat!"

    At this point the Judge called the man to the bench and said, "I have already asked you to be quiet, if you continue with these outbursts, I will have to charge you with contempt of court. I can understand your feelings, but what relationship have you to this man?"

    He replied, "He is my next door neighbor."

    The Judge replied, "I can understand your feelings then, but you must refrain from any comments."

    The man replied, "NO, your Honor, you don't understand. Twice I have asked if I could borrow a hammer, and BOTH TIMES he said he didn't have one!"
  • Drunk Driving Late one Friday night, a policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets. He pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. "Yes, I have. It`s Friday...
  • Golf Rider Four old geezers came into the pro shop after playing 18 holes and were exhausted. The pro asked if they had a good game and the first old guy said, "Pretty good. I had three riders today...
  • Chicken Vocabulary! 1. Who is the father of chicken? Chicken ka bab.
    2. Who is the mother of chicken? Chicken Kima.
    3. How do you tell a chicken to call...
  • The Ladies Tees SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY, a woman called her husband`s lifelong golfing buddy. "What`s the matter ?" asked the friend.
    "It`s Sam," she said. "I don`t know where I went wrong...
  • Beer Shampoo Two nuns were shopping at a 7-11 store. As they passed by the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, "Wouldn`t a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?"
    The second nun answered...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT