•  

    Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.

    At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter.

    He says, "Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be.

    The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren.." and *poof* she's gone.

    The second says, "I want to be Madonna and *poof* she's gone.

    The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini..."

    St. Peter looks perplexed, "Who?"

    "Sara Pipalini," replies the nun.

    St Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell."

    The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says.

    "No sister, the paper says it was the 'Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."
  • No Sex for a Month Little Johnny was playing in the backyard when some honeybees started annoying him. He tried to stomp on them, but his father reprimanded him, saying, "Stop that, John! Now you`ll get no honey for a month...
  • Do it... or Walk Home Josh lusted after Linda. When she finally agreed to go out with him, he took her out to dinner and then afterwards, drove her five miles out into the country, parked, and said passionately, "I want you right here...
  • Fucking Season Lena and Sven got married in St. Paul. They planned to honeymoon in Lena`s aunt`s cabin in Duluth. They caught a bus that was filled with deer hunters. About 30 minutes out of St. Paul the bus broke down right nex...
  • Screw or Twist? In the Spring of 1957, Bobby, a real cool cat with his own wheels, went to pick up his date. "Carrie`s not ready yet, Bobby. Why don`t you have a seat?" says her dad.

    "Okay," says Bobby...
  • The Perfect Penis Little Johnny and Mary were playing in the backyard when Mary asked, "Johnny, what`s a penis?"
    "I don`t know," replied Little Johnny, "but I`ll ask my dad...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT