Father's Ashes

  •  

    Stacey makes a new friend at school and invites her home for the first time. Stacey excuses herself to fetch her Mom and introduce her new friend. As her friend is standing in the living room next to the fireplace, she picks up the attractive vase on the mantle.

    When Stacey returns with her mother, her friend is staring curiously into the vase.

    "Oh, those are my father's ashes," Stacey informs her new friend.

    However, this startles her so that she drops the vase with a - ashes and broken vase scattering all around. After turning three shades of red she stammers out, "Oh, no... I'm, oh! I, can't... didn't mean to.."

    "It's OK dear," the mother says. "The vase was just from Wal-Mart."

    The new friend catches her breath enough to say, `But ... but your husband's ashes..."
    "Well," the mother says, "looks like he'll just have to get himself up and get the ashtray from the kitchen from now on!"
  • Stages of Drunkenness Stage 1 - This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject. You know all and greatly wish to express this knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are also always right. And of course...
  • Winnie the Pooh? A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk. "You need to use `big people` words," she`d always remind them...
  • I'll Alter Him Newly married Alan goes to meet Father George. He greets the priest and says, "Father, I need to talk to you."
    The Priest asks, "Is it a confession, my son...
  • Prison Labour A blonde woman visits her husband in prison.
    Before leaving, she tells an officer, "You shouldn`t make my husband work like that. He`s exhausted !"
    Officer laughs, saying...
  • Will I be acquitted? In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news:
    "There`s no easy way to tell you this...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT