Broken Scrotum!

  •  

    A woman named Jill stood up at her church's Testimony Meeting one Sunday morning, took the microphone from one of the church ushers, and bared her soul to the enrapt congregation:

    "I want to tell you about the awful accident that my husband, Jim, has suffered this past month. He was riding his bike, lost control, ran off the highway and hit a tree. He was rushed to the hospital, and could have died, but thank the Lord, all he suffered was a broken scrotum."

    The congregation gasped in horror. The men in the congregation were obviously uneasy and writhed in their seats.

    "Jim has been in terrible pain all month since the accident. He has trouble breathing. He has trouble swallowing his food. He can hardly lift anything, he's in so much pain and he has missed work because of it. He can't lift our children up to hold them and give them the personal love that they need, worst of all, we can no longer cuddle and have intimate relations. He is in constant pain, a pain so terrible that our love life has all but slipped away into oblivion. I would like to ask you all in the congregation to pray for Jim, and pray for us, that his broken scrotum will soon heal and be as good as new."

    A dull murmur erupted within the congregation as the full impact of this terrible accident sunk in, and the men in the congregation were visibly shaken up with the thought that, "there but for the grace of God go I."

    Then, as the murmuring settled down, a lone figure stood up in the midst of the congregation, worked his way up to the pulpit, obviously in pain, adjusted the microphone to his liking, then leaned over and said to the congregation:

    "My name is Jim, and I have only one word for my wife, Jill. That word is: STERNUM!"
  • Microsoft is Always Right One of Microsoft`s finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came...
  • Young Widow To get acquainted with his new Parish, the Priest decided to call on some daily. One he selected was a young widow, her husband, according to the index card, had died two years ago. After knocking...
  • How To Fly Like Superman Charlie was playing with his little brother Mickey when the little boy asked whether he could fly like Superman. "Sure you can, Mickey," Charlie said, "Just flap your arms really really...
  • Table Manners I saw my coworker Don Monday morning. I was about to ask him how his weekend went when I noticed his black eye. It was a real shiner. "What the hell happened to you? Were you mugged...
  • MA in American History Finkelman just arrives in America and needs a job, and has no qualms about inventing the necessary qualifications. He reasons that once he finds work, he will impress the boss so much that...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT