•  

    "Late again?" Miss Crabtree scolded Little Johnny.

    "It ain't my fault," said Little Johnny. "This is my Daddy's fault. I'm three hours late cause Daddy sleeps naked!"

    Miss Crabtree had taught grammar school for over thirty years but had never heard that one before.

    "Exactly what does that mean, Johnny?"

    "Well, Miss Crabtree, a coyote's been hangin' round the ranch lately. He's killed six hens and Ma's best goat. So last night, when Daddy heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he grabbed his gun and told Ma, 'That coyote's back again. I'm a'gonna git 'im!'

    "He told us kids to stay inside and he ran out naked as a jaybird, no boots, no pants, no shirt, no nuttin'! He crawled out to the hen house, stuck his shotgun through the window of the chicken coop. As he tried to see into the dark coop, our hound dog came sneakin' up behind him and stuck his cold nose right up Daddy's behind! Miss Crabtree, we been cleanin' chickens since three o'clock this mornin'!"
  • Headache Hack For Fast Relief Banta was suffering from a terrible headache, so he went to see his doctor, a young recent Bridge course medical graduate. The young doctor listened to him carefully and told him...
  • Rehearsal vs Performance A newly married man was discussing his honeymoon. He says to his buddy at lunch, "Last night, I rolled over, tapped my beautiful young wife on the shoulder, gave her a wink, and we had...
  • Love In The Dark A couple that had been married for 20 years, every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured...
  • Love and Sex At the retreat, a couple was told to individually write a sentence using the words `sex` and `love.`
    The woman wrote: "When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love...
  • Waiting For Surgery A woman awaiting surgery was lying naked on a gurney in the hallway when a man in a white coat came by, lifted the sheet, looked for a moment, then disappeared...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT